Happy Wednesday and Welcome back to… THE JAILBREAK.
(along with 650+ readers 🗝️ )

I’m a pothead. 🍁 

It might surprise you to hear that from me considering my obsession is writing about productivity, self-improvement, and personal growth.

But it’s true.

I’m writing this newsletter while dealing with:

• Cold sweats

• Nausea

• Zero appetite

• Non-stop anxiety

This is because, for the last 10 years, I have been blasting my brain with the highest octane THC I could get my hands on.

And yesterday… I quit. 🚭️ 

My Relationship with Weed

So, why does a self-proclaimed productivity bro spend hours each day rippin’ carts, poppin’ edibles, and smoking on that gaaaaanj?

Well… Like most stoners, it all started on one faithful day back in 8th grade.

I was a clique-jumper my entire childhood.

I was a theatre kid but I was also 6’2+ in middle school and in Texas, that means you have to play football - no exceptions.

So I found myself jumping between groups of athletes, artists, nerds, and popular kids.

But as a kid with social anxiety (and a desire to be liked by everyone), I quickly figured out the one thing these cliques all had in common:

Weed. They all smoked it.

Maybe THIS was the thing that would make me cool, accepted, or at least just not feel so alone.

So, I took my first hit during a sleepover at my friend Josh’s house.

Our buddy Chris had secured some bud (an absolute feat for an 8th grader living in suburban Texas), we put a towel under the door and sprayed an ENTIRE can of Axe bodyspray — it was time…

One hit later… nothing.

Two hits? Nothing.

“Welp, I guess I’m just not a weed person - I don’t really feel anything.”

A week goes by and I don’t think too much about it.

Then Chris sends me a text that says:

“Hey man, I still have some extra bud from that night if you want to buy any”

I decided to give weed another try.

So I made the most cancerous water-bottle-bong imaginable out of a Gatorade bottle, pen tube, and aluminum foil… (yum 🤮 )

I loaded up my $40 gram of weed, and I lit up…

And man… did I get fucking FRIED. 🔥 

I don’t remember much from that night other than laying in my bed in complete darkness, spinning like I was being sucked into a vortex, absolutely destroying an entire bag of peanut butter Ritz crackers, handfuls at a time.

This was the beginning of my decade-long love affair with Mary Jane.

I went from smoking every month, to every week, and then to every single day.

I used it when I felt sad, happy, sleepy, hungry, motivated, or not.

And honestly, I got pretty good at it.

I could smoke an ounce a week and still get better grades than my friends, still make videos, and still make progress in the gym.

I genuinely used weed as a medicine, but like any medicine, it can be abused.

ADHD and Weed

I’ve had ADHD my entire life (unmedicated) and this dopamine deficiency made “getting started” so fucking difficult.

Still does.

But I learned that if I had an outside source of dopamine (dank ass weed), then getting over the hump, and getting that activation energy together… made starting daunting tasks so much easier.

So I smoked before I went to class.
Smoked before I wrote code.
Smoked before I made a video.
Smoked before I wrote MOST of these newsletters.

I thought it made me better.

But if it really did make me better… Why am I still failing my goals?

Why am I still “missing something”?

I don’t know. But over the next 30 days, I’m going to try and find out.

I might go longer than 30 days but right now this is the timeframe my brain needs to take the leap and embrace the suck for the next month.

So for the month of January, I’m 100% weed-free. 🍁 

4 Reasons Why I’m Quitting Weed 🚭️

1. I don’t know who I am. ❓️ 

For the last 10 years the only version of myself that I TRULY know, is the version of myself that’s been getting high every day.

My patience comes from weed.
My creativity comes from weed.
My hunger comes from weed.
My effort comes from weed.

This sickens me.

Who the fuck am I?

How do I respond to anger, low motivation, no passion — as a sober person?

I have no fucking clue.

David Goggins went on the Huberman Labs Podcast yesterday and said something that almost brought me to tears.

“The richest people in the world ask me: Why do I feel like I’m missing something?”

Personally, I feel like I’ve been “missing something” for my entire life.

David says: “I don’t feel like I’m missing shit.”

“When you’re NOTHING and you change yourself into SOMETHING, like me, you call it happiness, peace, purpose.”

“Most people are missing something because they don’t know who they are.”

“You find yourself in the suck.”

Quitting weed is going to make me feel physically and mentally shittier than I have probably ever felt in my life.

This is what I want. I desire discomfort.

I’m going to make my life uncomfortable so I can find out who I really am.

2. I don’t want anything to blame but myself. 🙎 

A few days ago I sent out a newsletter that talked about my failures.

I’ve wanted to be a full-time creator since I was 10 years old.

If I have a purpose in life, I feel like it’s learning, synthesizing, and teaching people about these aspects of life that are so incredibly important to me.

But… after 3 years of “taking this seriously”, I have yet to make this dream a reality.

Is weed to blame? Possibly not… but maybe.

In 2024, I’m going to try and achieve this goal again.

But this time, I’m giving myself nothing other than myself to blame if it doesn’t work.

Right now, it’s EASY to blame weed for procrastination or not making videos, writing scripts, and finishing brand deals.

By this time next year, if I’m still not making a full-time living making the things that I think are important… It’s my fault. And my fault only.

2024 is the year of no excuses.

3. I love my brain. 🧠 

The anterior midcingulate cortex is a region of the brain shown above.

This part of the brain is smaller in obese people, larger in athletes, smaller in those who don’t challenge themselves, and larger in those who have OVERCOME challenges.

New data in human studies show the size of this brain region is directly correlated to overcoming challenges.

Specifically, it’s been shown to grow when you move your body — WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO MOVE YOUR BODY.

Think about that. You can physically grow your brain, and grow your willpower, purely by seeking that discomfort. (And aside from this, some studies show using cannabis ages your brain faster than not using it.)

I’m trying to grow this region of my brain until my actions are seen by others as absolutely fucking psychotic.

“How does he have the discipline to do that?” is a question I want asked weekly.

I know exactly what I need to do.

Time to fucking do it.

Join Me (30 Day Challenge)

If you smoke weed or drink every day and know in the back of your head that it’s ruining your life…

JOIN ME.

For the month of January, I’m going to be abstaining from weed entirely.

I might end up going longer, but this is step 1.

If you want someone to go through this with you, support you on your journey, and feel this pain together, I’ll be here.

Respond to this email, shoot me a DM on Twitter/X, or call me on my cell phone to chat. Let’s do this together.

To end with another Goggins quote:

“As times get hard for me, the truth comes out.
And my truther is powerful as fuck.”

Let’s embrace the discomfort and make 2024 the best year of our lives.

🎥 Video of the Week:

The Dark Rules for Unlimited Productivity (The Cult of Done)

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See you Friday,
- Jack Ross ✌️

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